So the other night I went out with a very dear friend. You know, the kind that can give you parenting advice and you don't get offended or feel judged; you are just grateful for the advice because you know it is solely coming from a place of love for you and your family. Well, Stephanie is one of those friends for me. A piece of advice she shared with me was one she had read in a book that she has used in her own family. The basic gist of what she said was that as a parent we can take the very things that annoy us, concern us, and cause stress now and phrase it in such a way for our children that it builds confidence in them and affirms them and helps them jump on the path of self-confidence and self-worth. But also, by rephrasing things, we begin to see certain aspects of our children as a gift, not a hindrance. For example: she said that her son was doddling like crazy while he was trying to put his shoes on one day. As he was taking his sweet 'ole time he was telling her everything he saw around them. Instead of getting upset with him she just said, "You know Andrew, you are so observant. You see things that other kids don't." And the other week he came up to her and said, "Mommy, you know, I have really good eyes." He had internalized what she had said about being observant and was now proud of the fact that he had "really good eyes."
I think this is such a sweet story. It also shows me just how much power we have as parents with our words. So, I have thought of a few things to say to my own children to help me see things as gifts instead of frustrations while they are still young.

"Wow Drew, the way you jump right off of the back of the couch shows me how fearless you are! You would make a great base jumper one day."

"Wow boys, the way you can so casually walk through fresh throw-up on the floor in your barefeet shows me that you could totally host your own tv show like Dirtiest Jobs. You can tolerate and embrace the things that would turn most people's stomachs."

"Zachary, the way you try to negotiate EVERYTHING under the sun tells me you can work any angle to get what you want. I see being a lawyer in your future."

"Man Drew, it's amazing to me that you seem to find the smallest, most dangerous objects and tools your dad has hidden around the house (so you and your brother don't find them and hurt yourselves). You will make a great detective one day."

"Boys, the way you can, in an instant, throw yourselves on the ground and throw the world's largest temper tantrum because I gave you the wrong color sippy-cup...can we say, "OSCAR!"

"Drew, you are so crazy (said with a smile). You make mommy look forward to the grave." Totally kidding!

See, I am beginning to see everything as a gift and as something that will benefit them down the road. I am trying to no longer see so many things as a hindrance, but rather, a gift that is a part of who they are. And as parents it is our job to help those wonderful gifts that are in them, flourish.
With a smile and a deep sigh,
The Joyful and Tired Mom