Everyone has their own ideas of what makes a good parent...what makes THEM a good parent. We each have moments where we really feel as though we had a "great mom day/moment" or we have, once again, won "mom of the year." The covented "Mom of the Year" award is reserved for only the best parenting moments you are thankful no one caught. A few of my, or a friend's, favorite moments:
"Don't play with the ketchup. Here, play with this knife."
"No, you may not have more carrots. Eat your cookie!"
"Please stop talking. You are making my ears bleed."
Continuing on...
"Mom of the Year" moments are my favorite to talk about with my friends. We typicaly laugh so hard at the things we have done or said that we swore we never would, or never imagined we could...then we became parents of active and curious children and our ideals totally changed.
However, there are a few times where our failings as parents can't be clumped into the group of shortcomings we can laugh about later. Sometimes, when we fail our children the only way something can be rectified is if God steps in and redeems what we have made a mess of. And I know God will do that. I know he has promised to never leave me , nor forsake me. And that promise is true for my children as well. I also know that when I mess up as a mom it makes way for my boys to see Jesus, his perfect love for them, and His awesome power more clearly-in ways I don't even understand.
But there is a lesson I can teach them through my failures. I can teach them about confession, honesty, brokenness, and forgiveness when I go before them and ask them for forgiveness for failing them. There is something so powerful in my own life when I apologize to Mark for something, but also receive an apology from someone that is genuine and true. It it humbling to be the one to have to say you are sorry. For me, to know I owe Mark an apology takes every ounce of humility I can muster to apologize. It is difficult...so difficult. But when I have a clear view of myself and my sin it paves the way for some remarkable things to be done in our relationship with one another and in my relationship with God. To apologize often keeps things in perspective that I am not a perfect partner, parent or friend. it also causes me to offer many thanks to God for still loving me inspite of myself.
I also know that when someone has let me down, to hear them say "I am sorry," is healing. It bridges a gap that was created when something in our relationship broke down.
That is why when I tell my children I am sorry it is the most sacred parenting moment for me. I can go to them and say, "I am so sorry. Mommy was wrong and I never should have...(fill in the blank). And see, that's why mommy needs Jesus, to forgive me because I am not perfect."
Apologies and forgiveness point our children to Jesus, as well as ourselves. I am humbled when my 4 year old forgives me and his love for me in unwavering. And the same is true with my Father in Heaven. He forgives and loves me the same yesterday, today, and forever. I love internalizing that truth in my own life; and I love teaching my children that truth in theirs.
The Forever Grateful and Humble,
Joyful and Tired Mom
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