Welcome to the World of Motherhood, Where Judgments Never Cease

I'm going to be very honest here.

It's exhausting for my poor little brain to continue to be angry about how we judge each other as mom's sometimes.
I was reminded of this when my wonderful best and I were talking today and she recited to me a funny poem she was writing about motherhood, but didn't know if she would blog it because people might judge her and think she is an awful parent.

1) It was hysterical.
2) She should definitely share it with anyone who will read it.
3) It reminded me of the book "Go the F to Sleep." (Which I also thought was a riot.)
4) And then I got angry wondering if people would have thought the above mentioned book was as funny had a mom written it. Or did they love it because a funny dad wrote it?

It made me think of the weekend I went away for a women's retreat and Mark took all 3 boys to 3 grocery stores. When I asked how they did he told me that, you know, they were wrestling in the aisles. Other than that, they were fine. No one said something to him. AND...he didn't get "the look" from anyone! Why? Because he was the dad...and "good for him for taking all 3 kids grocery shopping by himself. Where was that horrible wife and mother anyway!?"

Truly though, this week I overheard on the news that people were tweeting about Kim Kardashian dying her hair blond and concerned about how this may affect a nursing baby. Um, is that really what we are concerned will be detremental to the child of Kim and Kanye? Really? I wanted to write her a letter and say, "You thought your every move was scrutinized before? Welcome to the world of Motherhood-the judgments are FAR WORSE over here." But I didn't...because I am just as bad as the next person sometimes. And I may not be judging Kim's hair dying; but I am certainly passing judgment on that stupid name they chose for their daughter.

Oh well. I'm tired of the judgments I pass. I am tired of other's judgments. Just tired of it!

But you know, if someone were going to, or wanting to pass judgment on someone, I gave them the perfect opportunity today. Had someone walked by our house at 7:30 a.m., 8:15 a.m., 9:00 a.m., 9:17 a.m., 10:08 a.m. 11:00 a.m., or 11:36 a.m. they would have heard the yelling of a mom who had had it up to her eyeballs in whining, fighting, crying, and wrestling until someone whined, fought, or cried. I was reminded approximately a million times why I shouldn't open my windows during the day. Because all I was giving people were soundbites into my chaotic life, and it didn't sound pretty.

All we see or hear and then focus on are peoples failures, not their successes as a parent. The world would be a much kinder place if we would all lay our pride aside and realize that ALL of our kids are going to be in therapy one day. And if they aren't, they probably should be...and it will inevitably, somehow, be our fault. Let's just embrace one another, admit that parenthood is hard regardless of how much we love our children, put the fighting words down, laugh at the stuff that's funny because life is too messy not to, and help each other out!

Wanting to be Different,
The Joyful and Tired, and sometimes Judgmental Mom

And the Oscar Goes to...

While trying to remain sane, and not laugh or cry in front of my kids during their ridiculous tirade the other day while Mark was throwing away old toys and pieces of old toys, I started envisioning Ryan Seacrest and Guiliana Rancic having a discussion on E! News Daily about the Academy Awards...and my children.

Their conversation would go something like this:

Ryan: "So who do you think will win the Oscar this year for best performance in a drama?"

Guliana: "Oh, I don't know Ryan. It really could be any one of the nominees. They were all terrific. However, my vote would be for one of the Allen boys. They really gave it their all in their performance of 'How to Make your parents Cry, Drink, and then Eat Their Feelings.'"

Ryan: "You know Guliana, I agree. They really were spectacular. Honestly, I have never seen anything like it. The way that Drew was able to begin dry heaving and send himself into an asthmatic episode over old puzzle pieces their dad was throwing away...brilliant."

Guliana: "He did put all of himself out there. I mean, causing an asthma attack making it diffuclt to breath...not many people would make that sacrifice for their craft."

Ryan: "Yes, but Drew says that his character is very complex. And if he really wants to be beyond adorable and sweet one moment, and cause his mom to lock herself in the bathroom and cry the next, it requires sacrifice, discipline, and really going for it each and every day."

Guliana: "But in your praise of Drew, you can not forget the performance turned in by Zachary. Oh my gosh, Ryan, it was brilliant. The way he tried to guilt his parents into submission. Truthfully, I have never seen it done better in all of my days.

Ryan: You know, I really do agree with you Guliana. How his parents managed to NOT give in and be overcome by his wallowing is quite astounding."

Guliana: "I know Ryan. They really are something, his parents. They didn't crumble. We should all hope for that kind of strength and fortitude when being hit from every angle by our children trying to tear down our resolve."

Ryan: "When Zachary, through tears, said to his dad, "I hope you are ok breaking your son's heart!" I lost it!"

Guliana: "What about when he yelled, "But they are a part of us!!" I have never understood a child's fixation with some toys. But after watching Zachary, I get it. I get it. I walked away feeling like his toys were a part of ME too!"

Ryan: "The Oscar could go to either of those two. But in truth, my guess is that whoever wins, they will share it with the other."

Guliana: "And both try to outdo the other one for the following year."

And then as the camera cuts out you would hear the 2 of them laughing together.

Yes, that was what went through my head as our kids had the "Meltdown of 2013." That name has a ring to it, doesn't it?

Have you ever experienced Oscar worthy moments with your child? Would love ot hear your stories! Please tell me we are not alone!

As always,
The Joyful and Tired Mom