It's exhausting for my poor little brain to continue to be angry about how we judge each other as mom's sometimes.
I was reminded of this when my wonderful best and I were talking today and she recited to me a funny poem she was writing about motherhood, but didn't know if she would blog it because people might judge her and think she is an awful parent.
1) It was hysterical.
2) She should definitely share it with anyone who will read it.
3) It reminded me of the book "Go the F to Sleep." (Which I also thought was a riot.)
4) And then I got angry wondering if people would have thought the above mentioned book was as funny had a mom written it. Or did they love it because a funny dad wrote it?
It made me think of the weekend I went away for a women's retreat and Mark took all 3 boys to 3 grocery stores. When I asked how they did he told me that, you know, they were wrestling in the aisles. Other than that, they were fine. No one said something to him. AND...he didn't get "the look" from anyone! Why? Because he was the dad...and "good for him for taking all 3 kids grocery shopping by himself. Where was that horrible wife and mother anyway!?"
Truly though, this week I overheard on the news that people were tweeting about Kim Kardashian dying her hair blond and concerned about how this may affect a nursing baby. Um, is that really what we are concerned will be detremental to the child of Kim and Kanye? Really? I wanted to write her a letter and say, "You thought your every move was scrutinized before? Welcome to the world of Motherhood-the judgments are FAR WORSE over here." But I didn't...because I am just as bad as the next person sometimes. And I may not be judging Kim's hair dying; but I am certainly passing judgment on that stupid name they chose for their daughter.
Oh well. I'm tired of the judgments I pass. I am tired of other's judgments. Just tired of it!
But you know, if someone were going to, or wanting to pass judgment on someone, I gave them the perfect opportunity today. Had someone walked by our house at 7:30 a.m., 8:15 a.m., 9:00 a.m., 9:17 a.m., 10:08 a.m. 11:00 a.m., or 11:36 a.m. they would have heard the yelling of a mom who had had it up to her eyeballs in whining, fighting, crying, and wrestling until someone whined, fought, or cried. I was reminded approximately a million times why I shouldn't open my windows during the day. Because all I was giving people were soundbites into my chaotic life, and it didn't sound pretty.
All we see or hear and then focus on are peoples failures, not their successes as a parent. The world would be a much kinder place if we would all lay our pride aside and realize that ALL of our kids are going to be in therapy one day. And if they aren't, they probably should be...and it will inevitably, somehow, be our fault. Let's just embrace one another, admit that parenthood is hard regardless of how much we love our children, put the fighting words down, laugh at the stuff that's funny because life is too messy not to, and help each other out!
Wanting to be Different,
The Joyful and Tired, and sometimes Judgmental Mom
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