I did it. I really did it. I deactivated my facebook account.
Now, before you think that I am going to get all judge-y on someone who is on facebook, here is my disclaimer: I think facebook is great. I do not think it is great for me.
For a while now I have had a stirring in my spirit that facebook wasn't good for me. I knew that when I was on it, I was miserable. I knew that when I was on it, it was robbing me of time with my children and Mark. I knew that when I was on it I wasn't being productive 99% of the time. I just knew, that something wasn't right; in fact, there was something very wrong about me being on facebook. But I could never put my finger on it. I just knew that I was on it a lot. And it was like a drug that I couldn't pull away from. I was checking it at stop lights while driving my kids around. Watching life through the lens of my smart phone so I could post pictures of my family, instead of living life with my family. And then checking every 4 minutes to see who had "liked" my new photos. (And getting annoyed when people didn't comment or "like" things I had posted-I was very mature about the whole thing :-) )
After being signed off for a month I am finally sitting down to publicly process my decision to get off of facebook, and my heart just aches at how bound I was to it. It sounds so foolish. So ridiculous. But what finally occurred to me 5 weeks ago is that I wasn't fixated on facebook per se. I was using it as an escape from life, to decompress, to find peace somewhere, satisfaction amidst chaos. I could have chosen any outlet, and facebook became my drug.
And then I started a bible study. And for the first time committed, whole heartedly, to doing the homework that was required. To say it has been life changing would be an understatement. What I learned 5 weeks ago in Beth Moore's study "Breaking Free" is that was have God-given rights or benefits when we believe in Jesus.
Two of those benefits are to
1)find satisfaction in God, and
2)experience His peace.
Isaiah 55:2 is one of the verses that really spoke to me. It says, "Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare."
I was searching for ANYTHING to satisfy this longing in my soul. I was spending my money on what is not bread. Laboring with things that don't truly satisfy. I was searching for peace. Desperate for satisfaction...and I was looking in the wrong place. I hadn't realized that I was searching for satisfaction through social media.
I can think of a million reasons why I could stay on, and none of them are bad.
But for me, it isn't what's best. And one thing I know about my Jesus, is he wants the best for His children. Not a life without pain and disappointment. But the "best" in experiencing his peace. Finding satisfaction in Him. Enjoying his presence. Not just believing in Him, but BELIEVEING HIM. And in all of that, bring Him glory. Which honestly, is the coolest thing ever! I love how Beth Moore says it, "Christians can be miserably dissatisfied if they accept Christ's salvation yet reject the fullness of daily relationship that satisfies. Just as he offered the children of Israel, God offers us so much more than we usually choose to enjoy."
I want real satisfaction. Real peace. Not an imposter that is robbing me of the life God really wants me to live. So adios facebook.
Now, onto real living for this,
Joyful and Tired Mom
Wow Lindsey! You never fail to inspire me and lift me up in my walk with Christ. I too am an ex-Facebook addict (around 3 months sober...but, who's counting, right?) I seriously almost reactivated my account today because I felt like I was "out of the loop." But honestly, I was looking for a distraction, an escape from feeling lonely and isolated.....I just wanted to feel "liked" by someone, anyone, since my kids don't seem to be liking me very much right now....LOL. And being a stay at home mom, I almost swallowed the "facebook pill" again today. Thank the good Lord that I didn't. Thank you so much for this post and your honesty regarding the truth behind your personal struggle with your use of Facebook. It was really hard for me to articulate why I personally deactivated my account, however, I feel like you were able to put in writing the exact reason I did. Thank you friend! I am so grateful to be able to call you my sister in Christ!
ReplyDeleteI'm proud of you. And all you've missed is a stupid riddle that made a bunch of people (myself included) change their profile pictures to ones of giraffes!
ReplyDeleteLindsey (this is Marisa, by the way -- I can't figure out this commenting thing), glad to have found this and to know that you are doing well (I'd thought I hadn't seen you on Facebook for awhile!). I've just been doing some work with students on how social networking in particular has had a profound impact on their reading habits. It's been interesting to hear their perspectives as first-year college students; they can't even imagine giving up their social networks (though they tell me Facebook is now "for older people" -- ouch). Anyways, interesting read, and I'm glad this has been so positive for you! Take care!
ReplyDeleteLoved hearing from you!
DeleteI know, I am leading a bible study with sophomore girls at OSU, and they told me that facebook is "so not the in thing anymore." They had to explain instagram to me, and I felt like I was my mother!
I would love to hear what you have discovered as far as social networking impacting reading habits. Please please please share!
So good to hear from you! Take care.
This is one of the articles we read in class: http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/07/is-google-making-us-stupid/306868/ -- I think it's pretty great, and the students responded to it, too, though they are pretty cynical, I think, about their capacity to break free of this stuff. Obviously my whole career (and a lot of my life) has been devoted to reading and writing, but even I can sympathize with how they feel, and this article hit home with me. I know my habits of mind have certainly changed as a result of the internet, and it can be overwhelming to think about how to be more mindful about one's choices in regard to technology. (Sorry it took me a couple of days to reply, by the way -- I could get here to see your comment, but then couldn't figure out how to reply from my iPad, which I think means I should not be allowed to use technology in the first place. Jeez.)
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