Merry Christmas Everyone!

 

Merry Christmas

We hope that 2013 has been a wonderful year for each of you: full of life, love, and thanksgiving. And if it hasn’t been full of thanksgiving yet, it may be after you read our family letter.  Yes, pretending to be perfect and paint a perfect picture of our year is exhausting. So while our transparency in life may make some cringe (especially my mother), we feel it is a disservice to gloss over all the “good” stuff.

Zachary: Our big guy is 8 ½ years old, and pretty incredible. He has the integrity and strength of character that most adults would admire. Many days I stand in awe of him.  He just got braces this past summer and has spent much of his time this year honing his skills of teeth brushing.  Still a work in progress; but our hope is that practice will eventually make perfect.   He is unbelievably smart.  I am confident that I have one more year before he realizes he is smarter than me. And he also believes he is quite the joke teller. (Deep sigh) Mark and I are constantly telling ourselves that even Johnny Carson or Ellen Degenerous had to start somewhere, right. Right?!!!!!

Drew: Oh, our sweet Drew.  We have come a long way since the days of catching him brushing his penis with one of his brother’s toothbrushes.  (Yes, I did just say penis in a Christmas letter. You’re welcome.)  Drew started kindergarten this year and is amazing. We always kept our fingers crossed about this one (and a military school brochure in our back pocket).  We were never quite sure how he would be in school.  Would he try to be the funny kid, or the studious student?  We were blown away and grateful when during conferences his teacher said, “If I had a classroom full of Drew’s I would be so happy. He does what is right, even when no one is looking.” Say what?!  He loves school, loves learning, and is becoming quite the little artist. He has discovered a love for all things “art”, which intimidates me because I, nor Mark, have graduated past Stick Figures 101.

Nate: He’s trying to kill me.

Mark and Lindsey: We love this crazy life with our family.  However, every day when Mark calls on his lunch break he isn’t sure whether I will answer the phone laughing because of our awesome kids, or crying because Nate mentally gave me the finger again.  Either way though, we are grateful that this crazy life is the life we get to call our own.  Our heads hit the pillow most nights in total exhaustion, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.  As Mark said a few weeks ago, “I think raising 3 boys is a badge of honor…if we survive.”  And it is!  I am not sure why God entrusts these precious little lives to us, but He has.  And Mark and I are eternally grateful.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Mark, Lindsey, Zachary, Drew, and Nate





Where Our Chores Go to Die

I hate...I mean, with a passion so deep it's evident to all...I hate this poem:

 

I think the reason I am so passionately opposed to this poem is because in its simplest form it is supposed to invoke thoughts of sweetness and love for the special calling of motherhood. However, all it does is invoke feelings of pure guilt. 

I started feeling agitated about this poem again today while sitting down for 5 minutes to eat my lunch. I know, I know. I am a fairly rotten excuse for a mom to actually want to eat lunch. However, it was the first time I had sat down to do something that was strictly, only beneficial for me all day.  All morning I had been cleaning up after my sweet tornadoes. Doing dishes in the dishwasher, washing some by hand, unloading the dishwasher, loading it again, making toffee for Kids Wow tonight, helping with homework, helping my 5 year old write a little book, feed everyone their 15 breakfasts, feeding them lunch, having a friend over to play, mediating spats between brothers, trying to keep my volcanic 4 year old from errupting, folding tons and tons and tons of laundry that I'm still not finished putting away. And yet, because I was apparently not spending quality time with my 4 year old he had to behave in such a way that would require attention.

Any parent knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Literally, I can hear the voice in HIS head, "Idiot switch-activate." It truly is unbelievable.

Play with Resolve? Why not!

Run outside in the snow and ice without shoes or socks? Don't mind if I do.

Try to climb into the refrigerator with no regard to what Cherry taught us on Punky Brewster? Sounds like a plan!

So here I am desperately trying to accomplish things that are my job! I chose to stay at home. I wouldn't want it any other way. But with that comes a lot of responsibility. And it is insulting to tell a mom that she should put her responsibilities on hold. That wouldn't be acceptable in any other line of work!

"Um yes doctor, please put the scalpel down and come cuddle with your child. That surgery can wait."

"Fortune 500 company CEO, yes, that board meeting needs to be put on hold. The center of your universe needs attention-NOW!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I can't pay my bills today or tomorrow or ever. I couldn't work, I was snuggling."

I know I am being slightly melodramatic. I have that tendency sometimes. But why is what I do less important than what anyone else does? This poem makes me feel that way, like my responsibilities of feeding my kids and not allowing them to go to school in dirty clothes, or live in squaller isn't extremely important.  This only stirs mother's guilt in me that I'm not DOING enough.  As a mom we are expected to be hands-on all the time: activity directors for our kids, coaches, teachers, entertainers, jungle gyms, cuddlers, great story tellers, room moms, PTO presidents, great cooks, and awesome wives. Oh, and you have to be in shape too.

I know that people won't agree with me. That's ok. I'm not asking you to. I am just simply stating what I believe is absurd. Because I'll tell you what, I'll show you what happens when "cooking and cleaning wait till tomorrow..."

 

 

You get a room FULL of "tomorrow's" chores.  This is where our chores go to die.  All clean laundry. None of it ever getting put away.

So THIS dear author of that miserable poem

 is why cooking and cleaning can't wait.

Stuff has to get done in our beautiful home

Because messes don't wait to accumulate.

 

Off to do more laundry,

The Joyful and Tired Mom



Day 1 of 10 Baby

I started my 10 day Advocare cleanse today. Already feeling good. I know it's mental today, but it feels good to believe and know I am good.
It's only 1:50 in the afternoon. But the day has already gone extremely well. No slip-ups to report.
Breakfast was the glorious (cough cough) fiber drink, a glass of water, a glass of Spark, 2 eggs, 1/4 cup black beans, and a 1/4 avocado. So good!
Then, the boys and I went to the Y and I walked for an hour. My knee is still causing me problems; but I figure that if it hurts when I don't work out, and when I do...I may as well be healthy and active with the pain, instead of lazy and in pain.
When I came home I had the muscle gain shake with almond milk. Pure protein baby, and a large glass of water. The another glass of water.
And for lunch I had 1 1/2 cups turkey chili, a 1/2 banana, a glass of water, and another Spark.
It feels good. I feel good. So far I am not feeling any deprivation or shaking brought on by lack of Halloween candy consumption. Those KitKat's will begin to call my name, but they don't own me (picture my finger in the air and head going in circles)!
I hope someone reads this and finds in helpful in big ways, or small.
It's never too late to start making good and healthy decisions one snack, or one meal, at a time. Never too late!
Take from one perfectly imperfect mom of 3 that just wants to start feeling better, and living better, each and every day.
Lovin' this Spark,
The Joyful and Tired Mom
#Advocare #10 Day Cleanse #www.24andmuchmore.com #pure protein #clean eating #healthy living #more energy

#Hashtag Fever

I can't even believe I'm going to admit this, but I Am going to start using hashtags. Bleck! But I am, and I think they have value. Maybe.
As I embark on another 10 day Advocare Cleanse I thought it would be beneficial if someone did try to look something up about advocare, they could find my blog.
I love the cleanse because:
1) It is gentle and uneventful...if you know what I mean.
2) I feel sooooo good doing it!
3) I am healthier.
4) I feel healthier.
5) I do lose weight and inches.
6) I feel empowered.
7) Food no longer controls me or my thoughts.
8) I am no longer counting calories or points.
9) I am calm because I have a plan to jump start my healthy lifestyle goals. And I like a good plan.
10) I have more energy that I thought was possible with three little munchkins running around all the time.
So yes, if you would like to follow my 10 day journey, join me on Tuesday as I begin Day 1!

#Advocare #10DayCleanse #24daychallenge #24andmuchmore #more energy #weight loss #less stress #more energy

Breaking Free

I did it. I really did it. I deactivated my facebook account.
Now, before you think that I am going to get all judge-y on someone who is on facebook, here is my disclaimer: I think facebook is great. I do not think it is great for me.

For a while now I have had a stirring in my spirit that facebook wasn't good for me. I knew that when I was on it, I was miserable. I knew that when I was on it, it was robbing me of time with my children and Mark. I knew that when I was on it I wasn't being productive 99% of the time. I just knew, that something wasn't right; in fact, there was something very wrong about me being on facebook. But I could never put my finger on it. I just knew that I was on it a lot. And it was like a drug that I couldn't pull away from. I was checking it at stop lights while driving my kids around. Watching life through the lens of my smart phone so I could post pictures of my family, instead of living life with my family. And then checking every 4 minutes to see who had "liked" my new photos. (And getting annoyed when people didn't comment or "like" things I had posted-I was very mature about the whole thing :-) )

After being signed off for a month I am finally sitting down to publicly process my decision to get off of facebook, and my heart just aches at how bound I was to it. It sounds so foolish. So ridiculous. But what finally occurred to me 5 weeks ago is that I wasn't fixated on facebook per se. I was using it as an escape from life, to decompress, to find peace somewhere, satisfaction amidst chaos. I could have chosen any outlet, and facebook became my drug.

And then I started a bible study. And for the first time committed, whole heartedly, to doing the homework that was required. To say it has been life changing would be an understatement. What I learned 5 weeks ago in Beth Moore's study "Breaking Free" is that was have God-given rights or benefits when we believe in Jesus.
Two of those benefits are to
1)find satisfaction in God, and
2)experience His peace.

Isaiah 55:2 is one of the verses that really spoke to me. It says, "Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare."
I was searching for ANYTHING to satisfy this longing in my soul. I was spending my money on what is not bread. Laboring with things that don't truly satisfy. I was searching for peace. Desperate for satisfaction...and I was looking in the wrong place. I hadn't realized that I was searching for satisfaction through social media.

I can think of a million reasons why I could stay on, and none of them are bad.
But for me, it isn't what's best. And one thing I know about my Jesus, is he wants the best for His children. Not a life without pain and disappointment. But the "best" in experiencing his peace. Finding satisfaction in Him. Enjoying his presence. Not just believing in Him, but BELIEVEING HIM. And in all of that, bring Him glory. Which honestly, is the coolest thing ever! I love how Beth Moore says it, "Christians can be miserably dissatisfied if they accept Christ's salvation yet reject the fullness of daily relationship that satisfies. Just as he offered the children of Israel, God offers us so much more than we usually choose to enjoy."
I want real satisfaction. Real peace. Not an imposter that is robbing me of the life God really wants me to live. So adios facebook.
Now, onto real living for this,
Joyful and Tired Mom

Welcome to the World of Motherhood, Where Judgments Never Cease

I'm going to be very honest here.

It's exhausting for my poor little brain to continue to be angry about how we judge each other as mom's sometimes.
I was reminded of this when my wonderful best and I were talking today and she recited to me a funny poem she was writing about motherhood, but didn't know if she would blog it because people might judge her and think she is an awful parent.

1) It was hysterical.
2) She should definitely share it with anyone who will read it.
3) It reminded me of the book "Go the F to Sleep." (Which I also thought was a riot.)
4) And then I got angry wondering if people would have thought the above mentioned book was as funny had a mom written it. Or did they love it because a funny dad wrote it?

It made me think of the weekend I went away for a women's retreat and Mark took all 3 boys to 3 grocery stores. When I asked how they did he told me that, you know, they were wrestling in the aisles. Other than that, they were fine. No one said something to him. AND...he didn't get "the look" from anyone! Why? Because he was the dad...and "good for him for taking all 3 kids grocery shopping by himself. Where was that horrible wife and mother anyway!?"

Truly though, this week I overheard on the news that people were tweeting about Kim Kardashian dying her hair blond and concerned about how this may affect a nursing baby. Um, is that really what we are concerned will be detremental to the child of Kim and Kanye? Really? I wanted to write her a letter and say, "You thought your every move was scrutinized before? Welcome to the world of Motherhood-the judgments are FAR WORSE over here." But I didn't...because I am just as bad as the next person sometimes. And I may not be judging Kim's hair dying; but I am certainly passing judgment on that stupid name they chose for their daughter.

Oh well. I'm tired of the judgments I pass. I am tired of other's judgments. Just tired of it!

But you know, if someone were going to, or wanting to pass judgment on someone, I gave them the perfect opportunity today. Had someone walked by our house at 7:30 a.m., 8:15 a.m., 9:00 a.m., 9:17 a.m., 10:08 a.m. 11:00 a.m., or 11:36 a.m. they would have heard the yelling of a mom who had had it up to her eyeballs in whining, fighting, crying, and wrestling until someone whined, fought, or cried. I was reminded approximately a million times why I shouldn't open my windows during the day. Because all I was giving people were soundbites into my chaotic life, and it didn't sound pretty.

All we see or hear and then focus on are peoples failures, not their successes as a parent. The world would be a much kinder place if we would all lay our pride aside and realize that ALL of our kids are going to be in therapy one day. And if they aren't, they probably should be...and it will inevitably, somehow, be our fault. Let's just embrace one another, admit that parenthood is hard regardless of how much we love our children, put the fighting words down, laugh at the stuff that's funny because life is too messy not to, and help each other out!

Wanting to be Different,
The Joyful and Tired, and sometimes Judgmental Mom

And the Oscar Goes to...

While trying to remain sane, and not laugh or cry in front of my kids during their ridiculous tirade the other day while Mark was throwing away old toys and pieces of old toys, I started envisioning Ryan Seacrest and Guiliana Rancic having a discussion on E! News Daily about the Academy Awards...and my children.

Their conversation would go something like this:

Ryan: "So who do you think will win the Oscar this year for best performance in a drama?"

Guliana: "Oh, I don't know Ryan. It really could be any one of the nominees. They were all terrific. However, my vote would be for one of the Allen boys. They really gave it their all in their performance of 'How to Make your parents Cry, Drink, and then Eat Their Feelings.'"

Ryan: "You know Guliana, I agree. They really were spectacular. Honestly, I have never seen anything like it. The way that Drew was able to begin dry heaving and send himself into an asthmatic episode over old puzzle pieces their dad was throwing away...brilliant."

Guliana: "He did put all of himself out there. I mean, causing an asthma attack making it diffuclt to breath...not many people would make that sacrifice for their craft."

Ryan: "Yes, but Drew says that his character is very complex. And if he really wants to be beyond adorable and sweet one moment, and cause his mom to lock herself in the bathroom and cry the next, it requires sacrifice, discipline, and really going for it each and every day."

Guliana: "But in your praise of Drew, you can not forget the performance turned in by Zachary. Oh my gosh, Ryan, it was brilliant. The way he tried to guilt his parents into submission. Truthfully, I have never seen it done better in all of my days.

Ryan: You know, I really do agree with you Guliana. How his parents managed to NOT give in and be overcome by his wallowing is quite astounding."

Guliana: "I know Ryan. They really are something, his parents. They didn't crumble. We should all hope for that kind of strength and fortitude when being hit from every angle by our children trying to tear down our resolve."

Ryan: "When Zachary, through tears, said to his dad, "I hope you are ok breaking your son's heart!" I lost it!"

Guliana: "What about when he yelled, "But they are a part of us!!" I have never understood a child's fixation with some toys. But after watching Zachary, I get it. I get it. I walked away feeling like his toys were a part of ME too!"

Ryan: "The Oscar could go to either of those two. But in truth, my guess is that whoever wins, they will share it with the other."

Guliana: "And both try to outdo the other one for the following year."

And then as the camera cuts out you would hear the 2 of them laughing together.

Yes, that was what went through my head as our kids had the "Meltdown of 2013." That name has a ring to it, doesn't it?

Have you ever experienced Oscar worthy moments with your child? Would love ot hear your stories! Please tell me we are not alone!

As always,
The Joyful and Tired Mom