#Hashtag Fever

I can't even believe I'm going to admit this, but I Am going to start using hashtags. Bleck! But I am, and I think they have value. Maybe.
As I embark on another 10 day Advocare Cleanse I thought it would be beneficial if someone did try to look something up about advocare, they could find my blog.
I love the cleanse because:
1) It is gentle and uneventful...if you know what I mean.
2) I feel sooooo good doing it!
3) I am healthier.
4) I feel healthier.
5) I do lose weight and inches.
6) I feel empowered.
7) Food no longer controls me or my thoughts.
8) I am no longer counting calories or points.
9) I am calm because I have a plan to jump start my healthy lifestyle goals. And I like a good plan.
10) I have more energy that I thought was possible with three little munchkins running around all the time.
So yes, if you would like to follow my 10 day journey, join me on Tuesday as I begin Day 1!

#Advocare #10DayCleanse #24daychallenge #24andmuchmore #more energy #weight loss #less stress #more energy

Breaking Free

I did it. I really did it. I deactivated my facebook account.
Now, before you think that I am going to get all judge-y on someone who is on facebook, here is my disclaimer: I think facebook is great. I do not think it is great for me.

For a while now I have had a stirring in my spirit that facebook wasn't good for me. I knew that when I was on it, I was miserable. I knew that when I was on it, it was robbing me of time with my children and Mark. I knew that when I was on it I wasn't being productive 99% of the time. I just knew, that something wasn't right; in fact, there was something very wrong about me being on facebook. But I could never put my finger on it. I just knew that I was on it a lot. And it was like a drug that I couldn't pull away from. I was checking it at stop lights while driving my kids around. Watching life through the lens of my smart phone so I could post pictures of my family, instead of living life with my family. And then checking every 4 minutes to see who had "liked" my new photos. (And getting annoyed when people didn't comment or "like" things I had posted-I was very mature about the whole thing :-) )

After being signed off for a month I am finally sitting down to publicly process my decision to get off of facebook, and my heart just aches at how bound I was to it. It sounds so foolish. So ridiculous. But what finally occurred to me 5 weeks ago is that I wasn't fixated on facebook per se. I was using it as an escape from life, to decompress, to find peace somewhere, satisfaction amidst chaos. I could have chosen any outlet, and facebook became my drug.

And then I started a bible study. And for the first time committed, whole heartedly, to doing the homework that was required. To say it has been life changing would be an understatement. What I learned 5 weeks ago in Beth Moore's study "Breaking Free" is that was have God-given rights or benefits when we believe in Jesus.
Two of those benefits are to
1)find satisfaction in God, and
2)experience His peace.

Isaiah 55:2 is one of the verses that really spoke to me. It says, "Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare."
I was searching for ANYTHING to satisfy this longing in my soul. I was spending my money on what is not bread. Laboring with things that don't truly satisfy. I was searching for peace. Desperate for satisfaction...and I was looking in the wrong place. I hadn't realized that I was searching for satisfaction through social media.

I can think of a million reasons why I could stay on, and none of them are bad.
But for me, it isn't what's best. And one thing I know about my Jesus, is he wants the best for His children. Not a life without pain and disappointment. But the "best" in experiencing his peace. Finding satisfaction in Him. Enjoying his presence. Not just believing in Him, but BELIEVEING HIM. And in all of that, bring Him glory. Which honestly, is the coolest thing ever! I love how Beth Moore says it, "Christians can be miserably dissatisfied if they accept Christ's salvation yet reject the fullness of daily relationship that satisfies. Just as he offered the children of Israel, God offers us so much more than we usually choose to enjoy."
I want real satisfaction. Real peace. Not an imposter that is robbing me of the life God really wants me to live. So adios facebook.
Now, onto real living for this,
Joyful and Tired Mom

Welcome to the World of Motherhood, Where Judgments Never Cease

I'm going to be very honest here.

It's exhausting for my poor little brain to continue to be angry about how we judge each other as mom's sometimes.
I was reminded of this when my wonderful best and I were talking today and she recited to me a funny poem she was writing about motherhood, but didn't know if she would blog it because people might judge her and think she is an awful parent.

1) It was hysterical.
2) She should definitely share it with anyone who will read it.
3) It reminded me of the book "Go the F to Sleep." (Which I also thought was a riot.)
4) And then I got angry wondering if people would have thought the above mentioned book was as funny had a mom written it. Or did they love it because a funny dad wrote it?

It made me think of the weekend I went away for a women's retreat and Mark took all 3 boys to 3 grocery stores. When I asked how they did he told me that, you know, they were wrestling in the aisles. Other than that, they were fine. No one said something to him. AND...he didn't get "the look" from anyone! Why? Because he was the dad...and "good for him for taking all 3 kids grocery shopping by himself. Where was that horrible wife and mother anyway!?"

Truly though, this week I overheard on the news that people were tweeting about Kim Kardashian dying her hair blond and concerned about how this may affect a nursing baby. Um, is that really what we are concerned will be detremental to the child of Kim and Kanye? Really? I wanted to write her a letter and say, "You thought your every move was scrutinized before? Welcome to the world of Motherhood-the judgments are FAR WORSE over here." But I didn't...because I am just as bad as the next person sometimes. And I may not be judging Kim's hair dying; but I am certainly passing judgment on that stupid name they chose for their daughter.

Oh well. I'm tired of the judgments I pass. I am tired of other's judgments. Just tired of it!

But you know, if someone were going to, or wanting to pass judgment on someone, I gave them the perfect opportunity today. Had someone walked by our house at 7:30 a.m., 8:15 a.m., 9:00 a.m., 9:17 a.m., 10:08 a.m. 11:00 a.m., or 11:36 a.m. they would have heard the yelling of a mom who had had it up to her eyeballs in whining, fighting, crying, and wrestling until someone whined, fought, or cried. I was reminded approximately a million times why I shouldn't open my windows during the day. Because all I was giving people were soundbites into my chaotic life, and it didn't sound pretty.

All we see or hear and then focus on are peoples failures, not their successes as a parent. The world would be a much kinder place if we would all lay our pride aside and realize that ALL of our kids are going to be in therapy one day. And if they aren't, they probably should be...and it will inevitably, somehow, be our fault. Let's just embrace one another, admit that parenthood is hard regardless of how much we love our children, put the fighting words down, laugh at the stuff that's funny because life is too messy not to, and help each other out!

Wanting to be Different,
The Joyful and Tired, and sometimes Judgmental Mom

And the Oscar Goes to...

While trying to remain sane, and not laugh or cry in front of my kids during their ridiculous tirade the other day while Mark was throwing away old toys and pieces of old toys, I started envisioning Ryan Seacrest and Guiliana Rancic having a discussion on E! News Daily about the Academy Awards...and my children.

Their conversation would go something like this:

Ryan: "So who do you think will win the Oscar this year for best performance in a drama?"

Guliana: "Oh, I don't know Ryan. It really could be any one of the nominees. They were all terrific. However, my vote would be for one of the Allen boys. They really gave it their all in their performance of 'How to Make your parents Cry, Drink, and then Eat Their Feelings.'"

Ryan: "You know Guliana, I agree. They really were spectacular. Honestly, I have never seen anything like it. The way that Drew was able to begin dry heaving and send himself into an asthmatic episode over old puzzle pieces their dad was throwing away...brilliant."

Guliana: "He did put all of himself out there. I mean, causing an asthma attack making it diffuclt to breath...not many people would make that sacrifice for their craft."

Ryan: "Yes, but Drew says that his character is very complex. And if he really wants to be beyond adorable and sweet one moment, and cause his mom to lock herself in the bathroom and cry the next, it requires sacrifice, discipline, and really going for it each and every day."

Guliana: "But in your praise of Drew, you can not forget the performance turned in by Zachary. Oh my gosh, Ryan, it was brilliant. The way he tried to guilt his parents into submission. Truthfully, I have never seen it done better in all of my days.

Ryan: You know, I really do agree with you Guliana. How his parents managed to NOT give in and be overcome by his wallowing is quite astounding."

Guliana: "I know Ryan. They really are something, his parents. They didn't crumble. We should all hope for that kind of strength and fortitude when being hit from every angle by our children trying to tear down our resolve."

Ryan: "When Zachary, through tears, said to his dad, "I hope you are ok breaking your son's heart!" I lost it!"

Guliana: "What about when he yelled, "But they are a part of us!!" I have never understood a child's fixation with some toys. But after watching Zachary, I get it. I get it. I walked away feeling like his toys were a part of ME too!"

Ryan: "The Oscar could go to either of those two. But in truth, my guess is that whoever wins, they will share it with the other."

Guliana: "And both try to outdo the other one for the following year."

And then as the camera cuts out you would hear the 2 of them laughing together.

Yes, that was what went through my head as our kids had the "Meltdown of 2013." That name has a ring to it, doesn't it?

Have you ever experienced Oscar worthy moments with your child? Would love ot hear your stories! Please tell me we are not alone!

As always,
The Joyful and Tired Mom

Blurred Line

I read a recent blog that is making it's rounds on facebook in regards to the VMA's this past weekend. Not sure if you have heard anything about this up and comer Miley Cyrus, but apparently her performance was quite racy. Ha. This particular blogger, Matt Walsh, wrote a letter to his young son about what it means to be a man, a husband, a father. And instead of focusing on this young 20 year old still trying to find her place in the sordid world of pop music, he called out Robin Thicke. He called out the 36 year old, married father for bumping and grinding against the arse of a 20 year old. And truly, our conversations around the watercooler and social media shouldn't solely be focused on Miley Cyrus' twerking and her disgusting, raunchy, tongue (p.s. who told her that was cute anyway, or hot?). I loved his post. Loved his letter. Loved almost everything about it. But one thing really resonated with me after reading his blog. What stuck with me was a comment left by a girl, Maci, and her defense of Robin Thicke. It saddens me greatly that as women we all aren't outraged that the degredation of our sex is placed on a pedestal and glamorized. Is this what we have been hoping for in our world? A world where we are not seen as one, equal, deserving of respect and care. I, for one, think that too many of us have bought into the lie for too long; and we need to start standing for something greater than our bodies, our sexuality, our "choice". It's appauling to me. And the sad thing is, men haven't done this to us, we have done it to ourselves. We have willingly embraced the lies of our culture that tell us it is ok to be degraded to such a degree. But we don't mindlessly, or even skeptically go along with mainstream ideas. We embrace it! We seek it out! We celebrate it! It's disgusting. And as a young woman, I am sad. Just saddened by our society as a whole, for what we excuse, embrace, defend, and celebrate. I am tired of having people defend bumping, grinding, twerking, and being overtly sexual, and calling it "art". Or calling someone a "creative/musical genius." I could take a dump in a cup and throw it against my neighbor's mailbox and call it art. It doesn't mean I should. See, I think this is a valuable lesson we are not teaching the younger generations. Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD. There is wisdom in discernment and self-control. So while I am upset, not with Miley, but with our society as a whole...I will remember that when the day comes when my boys cannot be protected from all of the smut that is accessible to them anywhere, it is my job as their parent to teach them about discipline, self-control, wanting more than what this shallow world has to offer them, that there is a right, and there is a wrong. There isn't always a "blurred line."

Not Sure This is What God Intended for My Day of Rest

I'm going to be honest, real honest...and just admit that I have been beyond cranky these past 3 days. Like, inexcusably cranky. My kids just started school. so you would think I would be on cloud nine, right?! Well, I was, Wednesday-Friday...and then we had to have a weekend. I'm sorry, but I laughed my big rear end off the other day reading Jen Hatmaker's blog about her kids going back to school. She was so honest, and so real, and so...what is it I am trying to say? She was just done. Done with the fighting. Done with the whining. Done with the boredom. Done with her kids being home constantly. Just done. However, the way she writes endears you to her, it doesn't make you hate her and go, "Wow-that is one sucky mom right there." No, in fact, the opposite is true! After reposting her blog, one of my best's emailed, "We should do one of her bible studies." This woman is amazing to me. She manages to basically say, "If my kids don't get out of this house soon I am going to claw my own brains out." And people respond by wanting to be her best friend, and see her as someone who genuinely loves Jesus. What the what?! So I started thinking if I had that same delightful way of approaching the stress that comes with having 3 boys under the gae of 8, 2 dogs, and a husband that works 6-7 a week. The answer came back......um, heeeeeeeeck NO! I just come off as sounding mean, grouchy, and unlikable. It's hard to make kids running around, peeing in the woods, and getting a tick on their groin sound funny! I mean, doggone it, when I can read my three old's mind and see that he wants to give me the finger, like, 80% of the time, I am downright exhausted and mad, not whitty. Good grief, I am thankful for the people around me loving me inspite of me. But just to paint an accurate picture of my attitude this week, here are a few of the wonderfully delightful things I have said to friends. 1. I don't like people right now, so view everything I say through that lens. I just don't like people. 2. I can't stand stupid people. 3. I just gave Mark the finger, and meant it. 4. I don't like them right now. I love them. I just don't like them. 5. They were not in school enough days for me to actually miss them yet, and want them home for the weekend. 6. I am so done. Done. I am done. Done with the whining. Done with the fighting. Done with Lego Batman. Done with talking about work, and finances. Done with fighting bedtime. Done. Done. Done. Done. Done. I love school. I love that my kids loooove school. I love that all 3 will be in school this week, and there will be times when my house is silent and I can clean up Lilly's pee in peace. I love my wild and crazy life, but oh my gosh, I love the sound of silence after 8 years of noise. This will be the first time when all of my kids are in school at the same time, on a consistent basis, and I am not babysitting. I feel like I am arriving at the driveway of my dreams. Not quite at the door yet. That will be when Nate is in 1st grade and in school all day. But I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I love my children. I wouldn't want them to be anyone other than who they are, but good gracious...it's exhausting to entertain people every single day. And the answer isn't as simple as, "They need to play by themselves." Boys are amazing, but they can also be total idiots. If I let them play by themselves all the time, who would be able to shout the warning, "If you do that you will break another bone!" I love my family, and I love my friends. But today, I actually loved that I got a migraine and had the excuse to come home, take a muscle relaxer to help with my muscle spasms I get with my headaches, and crawl into bed for 5 1/2 hours and sleep the day away. And I love that I just woke up, Mark has the kids out for dinner, and I am going to go back upstairs and crawl back into bed and go to sleep for the night. For those who saw me at church this morning you know full well that a day of rest was deserved. Well deserved. And I love that tomorrow starts another week of school. Zachary and Drew will love being with their friends, and learning new things. And I can go to the grocery store with only one child, and not scream about the possibility of abduction, because he will stay with me the entire time. That alone is like a dream come true! The Joyful and incredibly Tired Mom, Lindsey

Loyal, Faithful, True

The other day I called one of my very best friends in the world. You know that friend: loyal, faithful, true, and able to speak truth into your life that pierces your heart. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by many women that lovingly point me in the direction of Jesus, many times, without speaking. But on occassion one of them will speak words of care, concern, love, compassion, and wisdom in my life that leads me to nearly dissolve into a puddle while driving down Polaris Parkway, and having many drivers think I am a crazy person behind the wheel. Tears, lots of snot...the good stuff, you know? I was sharing with my friend why this new business venture that my husband and I are involved in is difficult for me. Although we are working with health and wellness professionals, and it is good, I still feel very threatened because of mine and Mark's past. And although God has healed our marriage, and forgiveness reigns in our lives, there are triggers for me that bring back old fears, old insecurities that I thought had moved out of my mind...but have moved right back in the first chance they had. So I was just feeling everything really deeply this past weekend. Feeling threatened. Feeling sad. Feeling angry. Feeling scared. Feeling sorry for myself. And what my friend said was just beautiful. She said at church that day their pastor spoke something that hit her so hard, and spoke so loudly to her, and that it could speak to me. "Lindsey, Satan is the great accuser. He wants to accuse you of everything. You aren't good enough. You are a bad stay at home mom (Anyone who has ever been asked the dreaded, "how many hours of tv does your child watch in a day?" by their pediatrician understands that feeling of failure...um, 6 hours, before noon.) You aren't reading to your kids enough. You aren't playing with them enough. They aren't doing enough crafts. You aren't exposing them to enough things. You aren't a great wife. Your house is unorganized and messy. Your 7 month old puppy still craps all over the house...your fault. You are fat. All people will ever see in you is your belly. You aren't friends with some people because you just aren't cool enough. You will flounder forever trying to find your purpose. Etc. When you focus on these things, it takes your eyes off of the cross. Jesus has set you free from all of these accusations. And Satan just wants to remind you of these things every day. And the more you believe them, the less you see Jesus' love and forgiveness and acceptance." Every day I feel crushed by the weight of these accusations. And every day I put myself on trial and condemn myself...guilty! Guilty as charged. But that isn't Jesus. He doesn't want me to give these accusations a second thought. He isn't saying those things to me, the Enemy is. And every day I believe these lies to be truth. So why write this? Well, I wanted people, anyone really, to know they are loved. They are loved by their Father in heaven more than they could ever imagine. And some may not even know of this God I speak of, but He loves them still. And He loves me, more than I can possibly fathom or comprehend. The whole of His scripture tells me that. He loves me. He accepts me. As I am: blemishes, flaws, belly chubs, and messy house. He doesn't just love the good stuff. He loves all of me. And He loves all of you as well. The Joyful and Tired Mom who has been set free, Lindsey