Not Sure This is What God Intended for My Day of Rest

I'm going to be honest, real honest...and just admit that I have been beyond cranky these past 3 days. Like, inexcusably cranky. My kids just started school. so you would think I would be on cloud nine, right?! Well, I was, Wednesday-Friday...and then we had to have a weekend. I'm sorry, but I laughed my big rear end off the other day reading Jen Hatmaker's blog about her kids going back to school. She was so honest, and so real, and so...what is it I am trying to say? She was just done. Done with the fighting. Done with the whining. Done with the boredom. Done with her kids being home constantly. Just done. However, the way she writes endears you to her, it doesn't make you hate her and go, "Wow-that is one sucky mom right there." No, in fact, the opposite is true! After reposting her blog, one of my best's emailed, "We should do one of her bible studies." This woman is amazing to me. She manages to basically say, "If my kids don't get out of this house soon I am going to claw my own brains out." And people respond by wanting to be her best friend, and see her as someone who genuinely loves Jesus. What the what?! So I started thinking if I had that same delightful way of approaching the stress that comes with having 3 boys under the gae of 8, 2 dogs, and a husband that works 6-7 a week. The answer came back......um, heeeeeeeeck NO! I just come off as sounding mean, grouchy, and unlikable. It's hard to make kids running around, peeing in the woods, and getting a tick on their groin sound funny! I mean, doggone it, when I can read my three old's mind and see that he wants to give me the finger, like, 80% of the time, I am downright exhausted and mad, not whitty. Good grief, I am thankful for the people around me loving me inspite of me. But just to paint an accurate picture of my attitude this week, here are a few of the wonderfully delightful things I have said to friends. 1. I don't like people right now, so view everything I say through that lens. I just don't like people. 2. I can't stand stupid people. 3. I just gave Mark the finger, and meant it. 4. I don't like them right now. I love them. I just don't like them. 5. They were not in school enough days for me to actually miss them yet, and want them home for the weekend. 6. I am so done. Done. I am done. Done with the whining. Done with the fighting. Done with Lego Batman. Done with talking about work, and finances. Done with fighting bedtime. Done. Done. Done. Done. Done. I love school. I love that my kids loooove school. I love that all 3 will be in school this week, and there will be times when my house is silent and I can clean up Lilly's pee in peace. I love my wild and crazy life, but oh my gosh, I love the sound of silence after 8 years of noise. This will be the first time when all of my kids are in school at the same time, on a consistent basis, and I am not babysitting. I feel like I am arriving at the driveway of my dreams. Not quite at the door yet. That will be when Nate is in 1st grade and in school all day. But I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel. I love my children. I wouldn't want them to be anyone other than who they are, but good gracious...it's exhausting to entertain people every single day. And the answer isn't as simple as, "They need to play by themselves." Boys are amazing, but they can also be total idiots. If I let them play by themselves all the time, who would be able to shout the warning, "If you do that you will break another bone!" I love my family, and I love my friends. But today, I actually loved that I got a migraine and had the excuse to come home, take a muscle relaxer to help with my muscle spasms I get with my headaches, and crawl into bed for 5 1/2 hours and sleep the day away. And I love that I just woke up, Mark has the kids out for dinner, and I am going to go back upstairs and crawl back into bed and go to sleep for the night. For those who saw me at church this morning you know full well that a day of rest was deserved. Well deserved. And I love that tomorrow starts another week of school. Zachary and Drew will love being with their friends, and learning new things. And I can go to the grocery store with only one child, and not scream about the possibility of abduction, because he will stay with me the entire time. That alone is like a dream come true! The Joyful and incredibly Tired Mom, Lindsey