All Dogs Go to Heaven

It's been an incredibly difficult day as we said goodbye to our beloved golden, Cali. She was, without a doubt, the most perfectly wonderful dog for our family. Mark and I brought her home after 10 months of being married, right when we bought our first home together. She was our first "baby"; the first little life we learned to take care of together.  She was an awesome puppy. I mean, awesome. And no, I am not remembering our sweet girl through rose colored glasses.  She really was an amazingly kind, gentle, sweet, loving, and faithful friend all the days of her life.

When we brought our first child home from the hospital she would sleep outside of his bedroom door to protect him. Every time he lay on the floor, she was right there with him-head on the play mat right next to Zachary.

She was here when each of our boys was born, and she loved them immensely and let them crawl and grab on her all the time, and never so much as whimpered.
And today, as we left after saying goodbye, through tears Mark reflected on the incredibly hard season of our marriage years ago. "Lindsey, you had Smitty, Janine, Emily, your friends...I had no one. No one to love me or care for me in that time of pain, except Cali. She would lay with me for hours when no one else would." She was a source of God's love to Mark. A very real, tangible expression of God's love to him in his darkest hour. She literally, never left his side.
When Drew's asthma became so severe and he had grown into an allergy to Cali, Mark's parents graciously took her in the last 2 years. I can't think of better adoptive parents than my in-laws. Cali lived the last 2 years of her life on a 100 acre farm, visiting us often, and being pampered and loved by Mark's mom and dad. We were able to still love Cali, see Cali, snuggle with our girl, and have confidence that when she wasn't with us she was well loved every day.
A few months ago she started to get sick. And then on Christmas Eve we found out she had kidney cancer. I wasn't expecting the disease to take her so quickly, but it did. Mark's mom called this morning in tears to tell me today was the day. We rushed to be by her side. 

 I absolutely believe that all dogs/pets go to heaven and I will see Cali again one day. I take great comfort in that. Mark and I also talked, that while Cali will be in heaven, our dog Lilly most certainly will not be there.

As I grieve the loss of our most perfect dog I watch through tears as Lilly chews up another pad from the trash, and I step in another pile of her poop in bare feet. Yep, no lies here.
It's a sad day. And I'm not sure when the sadness will end. But I do know this, I am thankful for this pain because it means we were able to love and be loved by an amazing gift, the love of a pet that is wholely committed to you, no matter what.

When we walked into the house today to lay by her side and snuggle in her fur one last time, she fought to stand, walked over to us, and made strange noises, all she could muster, as she recognized us and tried to come to us one more time. When we came together she collapsed onto our laps and we just held her as she trembled because the toxins were poisoning her body.  She was faithful to the very, very end.
Missing you terribly tonight sweet girl.
The Very Sad Mom