Begin Again

Well, Mark and I started our Crisis Marriage Coaches training last night. And let me tell you...we were SO ENCOURAGED, and are so beyond excited to be a part of this incredible ministry that offers hope and encouragement to couples in crisis.
A part of the coaches responisibilities may include leading a class called Begin Again. The best analogy to describe Begin Again is that it is like an emergency room and everyone there needs urgent care.
Begin Again is a group of couples that meet every week for 6 weeks. The couples are required to go to this group, do weekly assignments, etc. The aim is to help the individuals grow in their relationship with Christ, help the couples work toward a healthy relationship again through communication and forgiveness, with the ultimate goal of restoration for the couples. It's an incredible program that Mark and I were a part of 2 years ago. Amazinigly, all the couples that we went through this program with are all still together. And when I say each of us were in crisis...we were in crisis. So to say that each couple is still married is a testament to the power of Christ in each of our lives, and His desire to reconcile, redeem, and restore even the most broken.
One thing Mark and I found so encouraging was that of the couples they could track that had gone through this program from 2004-present: 120 had reconciled, 12 had divorced, and 8 had separated. 120 HAD RECONCILED!!!!!!! I mean, isn't that amazing!? Wow! That statistic is so astounding to me.
But you know, Begin Agaiin is a great program, and God is Sovereign and Mighty and Good, but also...the people who are living a redeemed life in their marriage worked incredibly hard to get to the place of reconciliation and forgiveness. It did not come easily for any of us.
So last night I started thinking more about forgiveness. Forgiveness isn't easy. Gosh, it isn't easy. I have had to work through a lot of forgiveness issues with those who have hurt me. But also, I have been on the side of being unforgiven. And what I have realized is that if you are the one withholding forgiveness you have put yourself in your own prison. Questions that I have begun to ask in regards to withholding forgiveness are:
1) What is your unforgiveness costing you?
2) What is the benefit of unforgiveness?
3) Who does unforgiveness benefit?
4) Has unforgiveness ever reaped a harvest of something good-ever?
5) When does it end?
6) And who am I to withhold forgiveness from anyone?
After surviving what Mark and I survived, and seeing other couples survive and thrive after a tragedy..or many tragedies...I can only say that unforgiveness and forgiveness are extremely powerful in either bringing life or death to a relationship.
What side of the spectrum do you fall?

Grateful to be Involved in God's Work in People's Lives,
The Joyful and Tired Mom