To Discipline or Not? That is the Question.

Whew, today has been a rough one.

I think it's a combination of total exhaustion + excitement + no tv, but too hot to play outside + being consistently disciplined = The Perfect Storm

Zachary's behavior has been nothing short of nightmarish today. I knew it was going to be a rough one when I told him to get into the car for swim lessons and he crawled under Nate's car seat and then just stopped, on all fours, apparently too distracted to finish the task at hand...getting into his carseat. Now granted, my car isn't what I, or anyone, would call clean right now. There are legitimately a zillion things to mesmerize the eyes and mind of any child under 10 (or put me on 'The Secret Life of Hoarders'), but seriously...he did not make it into his carseat without me becoming that crazy mother everyone in the neighborhood judges for always yelling at her kids outside! I hate being that mom. Because I know from the judgment I pass on other's that that type of mom has lost total control of her kids.

After the car seat incident Zachary went to swim lessons. Now, in his defense, he has had a fabulous 2 weeks. My heart has been filled with pride and joy more times than I can count. And the success and confidence he has exhibited in the pool has brought me nearly to tears. My child can swim. He can swim!

However, today was not his best day.

As I watched him only listen to his teacher 1/2 of the time I was faced with a really difficult decision...atleast for me. Do I give him his reward for listening some? Or discipline his behavior for not listening some? After talking with the teacher, and praying, I decided he wouldn't get his reward. I needed to discipline him for not doing what was asked of him.

Ugh. It was so hard. My heart was literally aching that I didn't reward him for when he did do well. It broke my heart to not give him something that would have been special for him. And it broke my heart to tell him that his behavior was wrong.

But I realize, I discipline him because I love him. Because if I don't discipline the small things now, how on earth will I ever be able to discipline him and establish boundaries when he is 15 and thinks I am certifiably crazy and he knows everything. I have to discipline him now because I know the man I want him to become. So each discipline decision we make isn't about changing his behavior for the next five minutes; it's about building into him the charcater, self-control and integrity I want him to exude as a child, young adult, student, friend, husband, parent, and child of God.
But oh my gosh, it is hard and painful to discipline the ones you love...even when it is in their best interest (and the best interest of your sanity).
It reminds me of the scripture verses in Hebrews 12:4-6, 10-11.

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

God disciplines us because he loves us. I feel as though this is where I connect with God as a parent more and more. Each time I discipline my children and it is painful for me, I think of how painful it must be for the Lord to discipline us. But He does it because it is in our best interest. And that is how I have to see disciplining my children. It is in their best interest, and I do it because of the unwavering and immense love I have for them and the hope I have for their future.

Moving on to Time-Out #5,
The Joyful and Tired Mom