Baby Steps

I often think that I just don't have time to do anything significant with my days. And if the truth be told, many times I don't. Or rather, I am doing things that are significant for everyone else, like feeding them, keeping them in clean clothes, protecting them from their own stupidity...you know, little things. But for me, I feel as though this longing I have in my soul to write and teach and share, this thirst, is never satisfied. I always claim in my mind that I don't have time.
Then this afternoon my parents took the boys on a day date with them and we have been alone for almost 5 hours. I walked 6 miles, talked to a few friends on the phone, ate leftovers for dinner, wrote a lengthy email to a friend, read the bible, watched the rest of an episode of Psych, got ready for bed, washed my face, started reading a book, and then started piddling on facebook, pinterest, yummly, and other time-suckers. I was feeling very dissatisfied. And then I lifted up this prayer, "Lord, I have enough time in my day to do all you ask of me. Why am I making excuses? Why is it so hard for me to start something? What am I supposed to do?"
That is when I grabbed the computer and decided that regardless of if I have something earth shattering/mountain moving to share I am still going to write. I want to believe that this daily habit I hope to become disciplined in, is preparation for something God has in store for me in the future.
He is moving in our lives. We are excited. And we want to continue to listen to His soft voice.
Today at church our pastor was talking about ways God can speak to us. I began thinking how so many people tell me I should write a book; or that Mark and I should write one together. I laugh, but it is the longing in my heart...to write a book that people will read, and be encouraged and empowered. How am I to expect that a wonderful book deal would easily fall into my lap, if I have not taken the baby steps to one day reach that calling? Maybe God has been speaking through others to encourage me to start actively putting one foot in front of the other and just write.
I just always want what I write to be received well. But when much of your day consists of weiner and butt jokes, I'm not sure how far that message in a broken world will carry me!
Brace yourself for penis jokes,
The Joyful and Tired Mom