18 years ago, a relatively new friend tore a piece of paper into the shape of a cross, and shared this bible verse with me:
"Be still and know that I am God." -Psalm 46:10
It could be said of me that I had a flare for the dramatics back in the day. She could clearly see that I needed to settle my heart and mind, and pointed me in the direction of truth.
I held onto this cross for over a decade. Each time I pulled out my bible to read it, this little note would fall onto the floor. I would pick it up, read it, be reminded of this friend's love for me and my faith, and be reminded to just 'be still before God.'
But if I am honest...if we all are...how often are we truly "still" before God? How often do we wait for Him? How often do we just sit in His presence and do nothing? If you are like me, the answer is, "Almost never." Because for me, if I am busy, I think I am important. If I'm busy, it must mean that my life has value. If I am busy, it means everything I do has a purpose and is necessary. Or I am flat out so busy some days doing all that needs done, my head could spin.
But today, after over 24 solid hours of my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest, and not being able to think my way into peacefulness, I came home to an empty house and KNEW I needed to spend time with Jesus. If He is the Rock I claim to stand upon, then in these moments of high stress and high anxiety, I need to stop making excuses to not go to my source, my foundation of peace. I needed Him, whose peace surpasses all understanding. Because I tell you what, we need peace. Like so many families we are juggling a lot right now. Life feels crazy, and nothing seems in our control. We have a lot of unknowns in our life right now, kids that all have very different needs, counseling sessions that need paid for, a child and family recovering from a trauma, job demands that need met, uncertainty of where we will move, a house going on the market and wanting and waiting for it to sell, etc., etc. I know so many of you feel me here!
So today I came home and wrote in my journal, read a chapter in Revelation of Christ's future glory (so cool), and then literally laid prostrate on the floor and was still before God. (P.S. It does not feel natural for me.) And immediately the scripture from the Psalms popped into my mind, "Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am God." Over and over this verse kept repeating in my mind. And then in the stillness I could hear God's still, quiet voice, not audibly, but in my heart say to me, "Lindsey, I am in all the details. I am in all the details. I am in all the details about your house, about the buyer, about jobs. I am in all the details." And then I prayed, "God, it just seems like so much right now." To which He said to me, "You're right, it is a lot. Which is why you need to know that I am in all the details."
I know many will feel like I am silly or crazy for believing what I believe-and I am ok with that. God has revealed himself to me in more ways than I ever imagined He would or could in the past. And I am so thankful He is revealing himself to me today even still. While I don't hear from Him every day in the way I did today, I am thankful for this blessing. This reminder of truth I can cling to. I am thankful that He loves me enough to get involved in our messy life this side of heaven. I am thankful.
I held onto this cross for over a decade. Each time I pulled out my bible to read it, this little note would fall onto the floor. I would pick it up, read it, be reminded of this friend's love for me and my faith, and be reminded to just 'be still before God.'
But if I am honest...if we all are...how often are we truly "still" before God? How often do we wait for Him? How often do we just sit in His presence and do nothing? If you are like me, the answer is, "Almost never." Because for me, if I am busy, I think I am important. If I'm busy, it must mean that my life has value. If I am busy, it means everything I do has a purpose and is necessary. Or I am flat out so busy some days doing all that needs done, my head could spin.
But today, after over 24 solid hours of my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest, and not being able to think my way into peacefulness, I came home to an empty house and KNEW I needed to spend time with Jesus. If He is the Rock I claim to stand upon, then in these moments of high stress and high anxiety, I need to stop making excuses to not go to my source, my foundation of peace. I needed Him, whose peace surpasses all understanding. Because I tell you what, we need peace. Like so many families we are juggling a lot right now. Life feels crazy, and nothing seems in our control. We have a lot of unknowns in our life right now, kids that all have very different needs, counseling sessions that need paid for, a child and family recovering from a trauma, job demands that need met, uncertainty of where we will move, a house going on the market and wanting and waiting for it to sell, etc., etc. I know so many of you feel me here!
So today I came home and wrote in my journal, read a chapter in Revelation of Christ's future glory (so cool), and then literally laid prostrate on the floor and was still before God. (P.S. It does not feel natural for me.) And immediately the scripture from the Psalms popped into my mind, "Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am God. Be still and know that I am God." Over and over this verse kept repeating in my mind. And then in the stillness I could hear God's still, quiet voice, not audibly, but in my heart say to me, "Lindsey, I am in all the details. I am in all the details. I am in all the details about your house, about the buyer, about jobs. I am in all the details." And then I prayed, "God, it just seems like so much right now." To which He said to me, "You're right, it is a lot. Which is why you need to know that I am in all the details."
I know many will feel like I am silly or crazy for believing what I believe-and I am ok with that. God has revealed himself to me in more ways than I ever imagined He would or could in the past. And I am so thankful He is revealing himself to me today even still. While I don't hear from Him every day in the way I did today, I am thankful for this blessing. This reminder of truth I can cling to. I am thankful that He loves me enough to get involved in our messy life this side of heaven. I am thankful.
And he'll step into your "mess" too if you let Him.
He loves a Hot Mess like me,
The Joyful and Tired Mom
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