Today is just one of those days. I'm not here to offer anything profound that has spoken to me today. I'm not here to talk about some major life lesson I have learned. Nope, I'm just sitting at the computer thinking to myself, "Maybe I'll just blog. I have nothing to say accept, "Today I am a more tired mom, than a joyful one."
Ever have those days? Someone please say yes so I don't feel overwhelming guilt. Oh the guilt...I remember a piece of advice I gave a friend once before her first child was born, "Don't own the Mommy Guilt." And I have to be honest...most days I am the worst at owning and living in a mansion on Mommy Guilt Lane. It's as though I set up full residency at this place.
Oh well, this day will pass. I should have known it was going to be a rough one though when we went to Walmart this morning to go grocery shopping and an employee basically played 'chicken' with me to see who would move first. I lost. I had to haul my huge cart out of her way because she couldn't be bothered with taking 2 steps to the right to walk around me, the customer. I couldn't let go of my frustration. Seriously. I was so mad. In fact, I'm still upset about it! I have taken my Walmart grudge home and I am just makin' love to it. Never to let it go again. I even thought about calling them to tell them they lost a customer today-knowing full well that isn't the case because their prices are just too good. Such a moral delimna! :-)
Thanks for checking in on the,
Joyful, but oh so Exhausted Mom
The Joyful and Tired Mom
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
He Can Swim!!!!
My sweet baby boy can swim. HE CAN SWIM!!!!!!!!!!
I could not be more proud of Zachary. He had swim lessons the last 2 weeks and he attacked each lesson with gusto. He was so eager to learn to swim...and he did. He started the lessons rarely putting his face in the water. He is now swimming freestyle. Way to go Zach-Attack!!!!!!
With a Heart Full of Pride and Joy,
The Joyful and Tired Mom
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
To Discipline or Not? That is the Question.
Whew, today has been a rough one.
I think it's a combination of total exhaustion + excitement + no tv, but too hot to play outside + being consistently disciplined = The Perfect Storm
Zachary's behavior has been nothing short of nightmarish today. I knew it was going to be a rough one when I told him to get into the car for swim lessons and he crawled under Nate's car seat and then just stopped, on all fours, apparently too distracted to finish the task at hand...getting into his carseat. Now granted, my car isn't what I, or anyone, would call clean right now. There are legitimately a zillion things to mesmerize the eyes and mind of any child under 10 (or put me on 'The Secret Life of Hoarders'), but seriously...he did not make it into his carseat without me becoming that crazy mother everyone in the neighborhood judges for always yelling at her kids outside! I hate being that mom. Because I know from the judgment I pass on other's that that type of mom has lost total control of her kids.
After the car seat incident Zachary went to swim lessons. Now, in his defense, he has had a fabulous 2 weeks. My heart has been filled with pride and joy more times than I can count. And the success and confidence he has exhibited in the pool has brought me nearly to tears. My child can swim. He can swim!
However, today was not his best day.
As I watched him only listen to his teacher 1/2 of the time I was faced with a really difficult decision...atleast for me. Do I give him his reward for listening some? Or discipline his behavior for not listening some? After talking with the teacher, and praying, I decided he wouldn't get his reward. I needed to discipline him for not doing what was asked of him.
Ugh. It was so hard. My heart was literally aching that I didn't reward him for when he did do well. It broke my heart to not give him something that would have been special for him. And it broke my heart to tell him that his behavior was wrong.
But I realize, I discipline him because I love him. Because if I don't discipline the small things now, how on earth will I ever be able to discipline him and establish boundaries when he is 15 and thinks I am certifiably crazy and he knows everything. I have to discipline him now because I know the man I want him to become. So each discipline decision we make isn't about changing his behavior for the next five minutes; it's about building into him the charcater, self-control and integrity I want him to exude as a child, young adult, student, friend, husband, parent, and child of God.
But oh my gosh, it is hard and painful to discipline the ones you love...even when it is in their best interest (and the best interest of your sanity).
It reminds me of the scripture verses in Hebrews 12:4-6, 10-11.
And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
God disciplines us because he loves us. I feel as though this is where I connect with God as a parent more and more. Each time I discipline my children and it is painful for me, I think of how painful it must be for the Lord to discipline us. But He does it because it is in our best interest. And that is how I have to see disciplining my children. It is in their best interest, and I do it because of the unwavering and immense love I have for them and the hope I have for their future.
Moving on to Time-Out #5,
The Joyful and Tired Mom
I think it's a combination of total exhaustion + excitement + no tv, but too hot to play outside + being consistently disciplined = The Perfect Storm
Zachary's behavior has been nothing short of nightmarish today. I knew it was going to be a rough one when I told him to get into the car for swim lessons and he crawled under Nate's car seat and then just stopped, on all fours, apparently too distracted to finish the task at hand...getting into his carseat. Now granted, my car isn't what I, or anyone, would call clean right now. There are legitimately a zillion things to mesmerize the eyes and mind of any child under 10 (or put me on 'The Secret Life of Hoarders'), but seriously...he did not make it into his carseat without me becoming that crazy mother everyone in the neighborhood judges for always yelling at her kids outside! I hate being that mom. Because I know from the judgment I pass on other's that that type of mom has lost total control of her kids.
After the car seat incident Zachary went to swim lessons. Now, in his defense, he has had a fabulous 2 weeks. My heart has been filled with pride and joy more times than I can count. And the success and confidence he has exhibited in the pool has brought me nearly to tears. My child can swim. He can swim!
However, today was not his best day.
As I watched him only listen to his teacher 1/2 of the time I was faced with a really difficult decision...atleast for me. Do I give him his reward for listening some? Or discipline his behavior for not listening some? After talking with the teacher, and praying, I decided he wouldn't get his reward. I needed to discipline him for not doing what was asked of him.
Ugh. It was so hard. My heart was literally aching that I didn't reward him for when he did do well. It broke my heart to not give him something that would have been special for him. And it broke my heart to tell him that his behavior was wrong.
But I realize, I discipline him because I love him. Because if I don't discipline the small things now, how on earth will I ever be able to discipline him and establish boundaries when he is 15 and thinks I am certifiably crazy and he knows everything. I have to discipline him now because I know the man I want him to become. So each discipline decision we make isn't about changing his behavior for the next five minutes; it's about building into him the charcater, self-control and integrity I want him to exude as a child, young adult, student, friend, husband, parent, and child of God.
But oh my gosh, it is hard and painful to discipline the ones you love...even when it is in their best interest (and the best interest of your sanity).
It reminds me of the scripture verses in Hebrews 12:4-6, 10-11.
And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
God disciplines us because he loves us. I feel as though this is where I connect with God as a parent more and more. Each time I discipline my children and it is painful for me, I think of how painful it must be for the Lord to discipline us. But He does it because it is in our best interest. And that is how I have to see disciplining my children. It is in their best interest, and I do it because of the unwavering and immense love I have for them and the hope I have for their future.
Moving on to Time-Out #5,
The Joyful and Tired Mom
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
A Glimpse into My Future
As I write this tears are streaming down my cheeks. Only kidding. Just trying to be dramatic...maybe even prophetic as I am sure many tears WILL BE shed as my boys become teenagers and think they own the world and everything in it, and want nothing to do with me or Mark.
How do I know this? Because last night I got a taste of "Teenage Zachary." Sad, I want my sweet baby back.
Yesterday Zachary went to one of his best buddies homes. He had a great time with Dylan and they played hard all day. When he came home he was totally wiped out and didn't want to get off the couch to even go to the bathroom. He was cute and sleepy till he opened his mouth...full of attitude. (To be honest, I don't know where he gets it...stop laughing mom!)
I kept asking him what was wrong. Was he sad? Tired? Mad? "What's wrong buddy? What's wrong? Are you sure you're ok?" He snapped, "I am fine. Nothing is wrong with me. Quit asking me if something is wrong. Nothing is wrong!" To which I responded as any good mother would, "Ok. Come here buddy. We are going to hang out and talk about our feelings." He didn't laugh. I actually got a deep sigh and an eye roll. Already...at 5 he rolled his eyes at me.
Oh well, he will miss me when I'm gone.
Lord Have Mercy on Me,
The Joyful and Tired Mom
How do I know this? Because last night I got a taste of "Teenage Zachary." Sad, I want my sweet baby back.
Yesterday Zachary went to one of his best buddies homes. He had a great time with Dylan and they played hard all day. When he came home he was totally wiped out and didn't want to get off the couch to even go to the bathroom. He was cute and sleepy till he opened his mouth...full of attitude. (To be honest, I don't know where he gets it...stop laughing mom!)
I kept asking him what was wrong. Was he sad? Tired? Mad? "What's wrong buddy? What's wrong? Are you sure you're ok?" He snapped, "I am fine. Nothing is wrong with me. Quit asking me if something is wrong. Nothing is wrong!" To which I responded as any good mother would, "Ok. Come here buddy. We are going to hang out and talk about our feelings." He didn't laugh. I actually got a deep sigh and an eye roll. Already...at 5 he rolled his eyes at me.
Oh well, he will miss me when I'm gone.
Lord Have Mercy on Me,
The Joyful and Tired Mom
Thursday, July 15, 2010
I'm OK with You Thinking I Am Nuts...This is Too Wonderful Not to Share
Nine years ago our old pastor's Wife, Julia Pickerill, taught at the Breathe Festival. During her teaching she talked about how our generation has become a generation where we are constantly seeking the grandiose experiences with God. However, for her, the most spiritual experiences she has had in her lifetime had often been the most simple expressions of love from others.
This teaching has always stuck with me because I love to see God in the small things. It helps me to appreciate that even in this fallen world He still cares for me and my family, and He absolutely hears our prayers. I wanted to share this story of how God worked in the life of my little guy, Zachary. He heard Zachary's prayers and showed Zachary that He heard him, cares for him, and listens to the cries of His children.
(I realize that there may be readers that think I am totally nuts after this post. Or others that say, "Are you kidding? That wasn't God, that was coincidence." If I chose to see things that way then I would miss out on a lot of amazing things that God does around me...I don't want to miss out on how the God of the universe cares for me in such a way that he would bless us in ways only we care about.)
For those of you that have young children you are aware, maybe even painfully aware, that when they have a stuffed animal they are attached to, it is not merely a stuffed animal, but a very real member of the family. We have just recently discovered how Zachary viewed his favorite stuffed animal, Panda.
Mark and I knew he loved this stuffed animal. My mom had gotten it for him for Christmas. He had to sleep with it every night and he carried it with him all over the house, in the car, etc. Well we took Panda to Disney World with us and lost him on the way home. Ugh. He spent nights and naptimes sobbing because he missed him. I mean, sobbing so loudly that he woke his baby brother in the room next door. There was the temptation to tell him to just get over it, but we couldn't. It wasn't his fault he was lost, it was ours...and now my child was devastated every day and every night because his best friend, Panda, wasn't with him.
So my mom and I did what any rational adults would do. My mom went out in search of panda. She bought a replacement, but it wasn't the right one, and Zachary knew it right away. "Now I can sleep with this panda and Panda when we find him." Our hearts sank again. So then we spent the night scouring the internet for a replacement. We discovered that my mom had gotten a panda that was made exclusively for one store, and it was their holiday stuffed animal, and there were no more left...anywhere. Fortunately, we found one. ONE. There was only one of these new pandas on ebay and so my mom graciously, regardless of price, bought Zachary a new Panda.
We waited and waited for it to arrive. While waiting Zachary continued to cry about missing Panda.
Well, yesterday I told him that he was not to cry during quiet time. And then I told him that when I get sad and cry I pray because it makes me feel better. He said, "I prayed last night." You did? "Yeah. I prayed that panda would come home tomorrow." I told him I loved him, gave him a kiss, and then went downstairs. Not 5minutes later my mom showed up at the door with Panda in tow.
She took Panda upstairs to Zachary and he was just silent. He hugged Panda and Nanna so tightly, and then started to cry. As he told me later, "I was just so happy."
I love that God heard Zachary's cries. I love that He knows how much Zachary loves his Panda and how he sees Panda as a legitimate member of our family. I love that when Zachary was specific about asking for Panda to come home the next day...he did.
I realize tht people will say this is just a coincidence, but I won't see it that way. After all that we have been through in this lifetime I don't believe there is such a thing as "over spiritualization." God moves in mighty ways, and in the most simple ways. I am just thankful to be a part of God's work this side of heaven.
Now on a lighter note...are we overdoing it if we install a pet microchip in Panda's ear so we never lose him again?
The Grateful,
Joyful and Tired Mom
This teaching has always stuck with me because I love to see God in the small things. It helps me to appreciate that even in this fallen world He still cares for me and my family, and He absolutely hears our prayers. I wanted to share this story of how God worked in the life of my little guy, Zachary. He heard Zachary's prayers and showed Zachary that He heard him, cares for him, and listens to the cries of His children.
(I realize that there may be readers that think I am totally nuts after this post. Or others that say, "Are you kidding? That wasn't God, that was coincidence." If I chose to see things that way then I would miss out on a lot of amazing things that God does around me...I don't want to miss out on how the God of the universe cares for me in such a way that he would bless us in ways only we care about.)
For those of you that have young children you are aware, maybe even painfully aware, that when they have a stuffed animal they are attached to, it is not merely a stuffed animal, but a very real member of the family. We have just recently discovered how Zachary viewed his favorite stuffed animal, Panda.
Mark and I knew he loved this stuffed animal. My mom had gotten it for him for Christmas. He had to sleep with it every night and he carried it with him all over the house, in the car, etc. Well we took Panda to Disney World with us and lost him on the way home. Ugh. He spent nights and naptimes sobbing because he missed him. I mean, sobbing so loudly that he woke his baby brother in the room next door. There was the temptation to tell him to just get over it, but we couldn't. It wasn't his fault he was lost, it was ours...and now my child was devastated every day and every night because his best friend, Panda, wasn't with him.
So my mom and I did what any rational adults would do. My mom went out in search of panda. She bought a replacement, but it wasn't the right one, and Zachary knew it right away. "Now I can sleep with this panda and Panda when we find him." Our hearts sank again. So then we spent the night scouring the internet for a replacement. We discovered that my mom had gotten a panda that was made exclusively for one store, and it was their holiday stuffed animal, and there were no more left...anywhere. Fortunately, we found one. ONE. There was only one of these new pandas on ebay and so my mom graciously, regardless of price, bought Zachary a new Panda.
We waited and waited for it to arrive. While waiting Zachary continued to cry about missing Panda.
Well, yesterday I told him that he was not to cry during quiet time. And then I told him that when I get sad and cry I pray because it makes me feel better. He said, "I prayed last night." You did? "Yeah. I prayed that panda would come home tomorrow." I told him I loved him, gave him a kiss, and then went downstairs. Not 5minutes later my mom showed up at the door with Panda in tow.
She took Panda upstairs to Zachary and he was just silent. He hugged Panda and Nanna so tightly, and then started to cry. As he told me later, "I was just so happy."
I love that God heard Zachary's cries. I love that He knows how much Zachary loves his Panda and how he sees Panda as a legitimate member of our family. I love that when Zachary was specific about asking for Panda to come home the next day...he did.
I realize tht people will say this is just a coincidence, but I won't see it that way. After all that we have been through in this lifetime I don't believe there is such a thing as "over spiritualization." God moves in mighty ways, and in the most simple ways. I am just thankful to be a part of God's work this side of heaven.
Now on a lighter note...are we overdoing it if we install a pet microchip in Panda's ear so we never lose him again?
The Grateful,
Joyful and Tired Mom
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Prayer Warriors Needed
Here is my attempt at writing a more serious blog...(deep breath) whew.
Exactly 2 years ago Mark and I faced a crisis in our marriage. It was our darkest hour. Each day my goal was to survive. I survived. Mark survived. And our marriage survived and then began to thrive because of the unwavering love and support from family and friends; and because our God feverishly pursued us and restored us. Because of our understanding of how eaily sin can creep into our lives and destroy, and because of our immense gratitude for those who helped us, and especially for a God that never failed us, Mark and I have decided it is time we offer ourselves, our story, and our lives to marriages/couples in crisis.
We have just decided to join the Crisis Marriage Program at our church as coaches. No, we don't have all the answers. But I will say that when you experience God's faithfulness, restoration, reconciliation, and redemption the way we did it is difficult to not want to shout from the highest mountain top what He has done in our lives, and try to offer hope to other couples that are hurting. In the midst of our crisis one of my best friends said to me, "Let me be the voice of hope for you." It is our desire now to be the voices of hope for those that may have none...or very little.
I am sharing this because we need prayer. We believe in an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-merciful God that loves us inspite of ourselves, and forgives us despite all we say, think, and do. We also believe that the bible is the infallible Word of God. Because of this we know that there is an evil force at work on this earth. Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
No, our enemy is not an opposite evil equivalent of Jesus, but he is powerful none-the-less. And we know that if our desire is to bring glory to God, he will try to stop, hinder, or slow us down in some way. Because of this we ask for your prayers. Prayers of protection for: our family, our marriage, our children, Mark's job, our friendships, etc. Anything that the Lord may place on your heart to pray, please pray.
We desire for God's truth to be known. His sovereignty to be evident and trusted. And his love to be experienced in very tangible ways for those that need Him to reveal Himself in mighty ways...just as He did for us.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Thank you even more for taking the time to pray.
Blessings,
Lindsey (and Mark)
Exactly 2 years ago Mark and I faced a crisis in our marriage. It was our darkest hour. Each day my goal was to survive. I survived. Mark survived. And our marriage survived and then began to thrive because of the unwavering love and support from family and friends; and because our God feverishly pursued us and restored us. Because of our understanding of how eaily sin can creep into our lives and destroy, and because of our immense gratitude for those who helped us, and especially for a God that never failed us, Mark and I have decided it is time we offer ourselves, our story, and our lives to marriages/couples in crisis.
We have just decided to join the Crisis Marriage Program at our church as coaches. No, we don't have all the answers. But I will say that when you experience God's faithfulness, restoration, reconciliation, and redemption the way we did it is difficult to not want to shout from the highest mountain top what He has done in our lives, and try to offer hope to other couples that are hurting. In the midst of our crisis one of my best friends said to me, "Let me be the voice of hope for you." It is our desire now to be the voices of hope for those that may have none...or very little.
I am sharing this because we need prayer. We believe in an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-merciful God that loves us inspite of ourselves, and forgives us despite all we say, think, and do. We also believe that the bible is the infallible Word of God. Because of this we know that there is an evil force at work on this earth. Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
No, our enemy is not an opposite evil equivalent of Jesus, but he is powerful none-the-less. And we know that if our desire is to bring glory to God, he will try to stop, hinder, or slow us down in some way. Because of this we ask for your prayers. Prayers of protection for: our family, our marriage, our children, Mark's job, our friendships, etc. Anything that the Lord may place on your heart to pray, please pray.
We desire for God's truth to be known. His sovereignty to be evident and trusted. And his love to be experienced in very tangible ways for those that need Him to reveal Himself in mighty ways...just as He did for us.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Thank you even more for taking the time to pray.
Blessings,
Lindsey (and Mark)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)